Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Wear Tear Repair Fair...

Okay. Today's been a pretty good day. Only one kinda dinglenut in the shop. But for what we lack in quantity, we definitely make up for in quality. Here's how the conversation went, as far as my mind remembers:

Customer: Hi there. I bought this backpack case for my laptop a while ago and the seams are kinda tearing here and here and in this pocket. See?

Me: Hmmm. Yeah. I see that. Have you been using it lots?

C: Yeah. I've been taking it to school, but I have only had like 2-3 textbooks in it and some pens.

M: Okay. So how can I help you?

C: Well, I'm not very happy with it. I bought it a while ago and it's not lasting very well.

M: Well let's check out when you got it...Hmmm. It seems you bought it over 3 months ago. Well, none the less, what's on your mind?

C: Well, I don't think I need it anymore and I need a printer.

M: So you want to buy a printer? I can definitely help you there. As for what to do with the bag, that's not really my call. You'll have to talk to the manager.

C: Well, I was wondering if I could trade the bag for a printer.

M: Um...I don't have anything to say about that as it's not my call. If you have a seat, our manager will be with you shortly and he'll have some idea of what can be done.

***Now that's it. That's where the conversation stopped. I then went to get the manager and didn't listen to the conversation because I didn't want to hear it. Honestly. BUT, here's how the conversation continued on in my imagination:

Manager: Hello. I'm told you're unhappy with your purchase and I'm wondering what I can do for you?

Customer: Well, I bought this bag 3 months and a bit ago and it's started to tear some seams. I thought it would last forever, much like everything else I've ever bought. Apparently it doesn't, so I want to trade the bag for a printer.

Manager: I see. Your bag is victim of use and you're no longer pleased with it's mutability so you'd like to trade it for a printer.

Customer: Yes. I need a printer but I don't need this bag anymore, so I'd like to trade it.

Manager: I see. Has your adult shopping experience ever given you the idea that you can buy things and return them for more expensive items months after your purchase?

Customer: Uh...

Manager: I'm curious if say, Levis' would let you return a $40 pair of jeans after 3 months and trade them straight across for a $60 pair of jeans?

Customer: Uh...no...but I'm not really pleased with...

Manager: (Interupts) Yes. I know you are not pleased. I'm also not pleased that you think I'm an idiot who will give you something for nothing. So what should we do?

Customer: ...if you're not going to give me a printer, I'm going to take my business elsewhere.

Manager: Don't forget your bag. Have a nice day!

(Customer leaves)

Until the next crazy conversation,

The Armchair Stenographer


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