Two good ones I forgot...

...At the age of 2, Chuck Norris hunted down his feminine side and his inner child, knocked them both out with a single roundhouse kick and flash-baked them alive in the nuclear furnace of his own kryptonian testosterone.

...Also, Chuck Norris recently won the title of Iron Chef by cooking a 9 course meal in 13 minutes using only nunchuks and three perfectly timed roundhouse kicks. Also during the course of the show, Chuck also won a nobel prize for some crazy medical breakthrough that he formulated while waiting for the main course to cook.

Until Next Time,

The Armchair Nuck Chorris.