Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Okay. I have a question for the masses. I'm wondering why everyone and their dog, and their uncle's dog for that matter, somehow find the need to always give me a disclaimer before we start talking about a propsective computer sale or service interaction. I'm not much of a statistics nut (and everyone knows that statistics reveal that over 90% of statistics are unreliable...) but I'd have to say that around 80% of people I talk to, for whatever unearthly reason, arrive at the conclusion that they have to say one of the following 2 statements:

1. I'm not a computer expert.

2. I'm not looking to spend a whole lot of money.

First off, I assume that you're not a computer expert. Pretty much nobody is. I'm not even close to being a computer expert. I most likely know more about computers than your entire extended family, but I'm not an expert. Saying that you're not an expert doesn't help me know anything about you that is useful. I mean, do you say the same thing when you go to the dentist?

"You know Mr. Mitchel, so you're hear for your anual checkup? How about some flouride treatment today?"

"...Woah woah! I'm not a dentist! Take it easy!"

See? It sounds idiotic. And so do you when you walk into a computer store and announce that you're not an expert. They guys working there aren't experts either. Neither are the technicians. So STOP SAYING IT. Tell me what you want your computer to do and then let me try to find the best system for your needs, then buy it. That's all I ask.

Secondly, believe it or not, I don't suspect that anyone comes to any store, anywhere, with the intent of spending their life savings. That's what a casino is for. I, on the other hand, work in a computer store. Telling me that you don't want to spend money is like informing me that you have a full set of teeth. Hooray for you. Start a club and get t-shirts made. It's not like I expect everyone to be living like Richard Pryor in Brewster's Millions. So stop saying that too. Please. In fact, the next person who comes in and doesn't inform me that they're not an expert and don't want to spend a lot of money will get a discount, simply for not driving me one step closer to electro-convulsive therapy. Tell your friends and spread the word. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Griping Nancy


  • Here are the two lines that I hear most often as a library employee:

    1. I already returned that book.
    2. I already paid that 12 cent overdue fine.
    3. I took out a book six years ago and I really liked it. Do you still have it? I can't remember the title, author or call number, but it was (insert color), (insert size estimate as demonstrated with hands) and it was sitting over there on the shelf(point vaguely with finger).

    By Blogger Sarah, at 10:00 PM  

  • oops. I mean three lines.

    By Blogger Sarah, at 10:01 PM  

  • HA! Nice! I love it! MORE! MORE!

    The Armchair Applauser

    By Blogger The Armchair Geek, at 3:04 PM  

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