Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I got your nuthin' right HERE...

Okay. Another stupid rant on a HOT day (I know I said I don't have net but I'm doing this after from work...HA!). It's hot enough to deep fry a Winnebago in Sylvan Lake today. No kidding. Okay. Onto my rambling...

I don't have a clue what goes on in the minds of comsumers, but I don't understand where some people learn to shop. I'll give an example of something that sets apart computer customers from the rest of the cognitively functional world. It seems that computer customers cannot, I repeat CAN NOT, get it through their heads that items cost money. Yet ironically, they're shopping...a process that historically is established around the exchanging of money for items. This comes up in two different places:

1. Getting upset about price. This is so freaking annoying. A person will want product 'X', which will have 1024 of something and yet they'll come into my store with a quote for product 'Y', which only has 256 of the same thing. Then, they'll question me why my product 'X' is more money than their quote for product 'Y'. Or worse, they'll have a quote for a different product and then wonder why my price is either higher or lower. People cannot seem to process the basic concept of "more is more", not "more is less". If you want a PIV 3.6Ghz with 2048 megs of RAM and a 400 gig Hard Drive, don't bring me a quote for a PIV 2.4Ghz with 256 megs of RAM and a 60 gig Hard Drive and then wonder why mine is more money. And if you're that dimwitted in the first place: BUY A MAC.

2. Asking for absurd things for free. I get this all the time with people. I'm talking with a customer, they like the product, and then they try to 'barter'. I'll get lines like "Give me a free extended warranty" or "Include a bag and a router" or "drop the price by two hundred and make that taxes in" (I actually have got that line before). I mean, just because you're dropping $900 in my shop doesn't mean I can give you $200 of stuff for 'free'. Believe it or not, even when something is 'free' it's not 'free'. The cost of the 'free' item is factored into the price of the item you're buying. In most retail items, there's a markup so the sales person can make a percentage of that markup as his/her wage. That's called 'comission', and many sales positions work on comission. So when you're asking for 'free' stuff, you're asking me drop my comission in order to pacify you, in order to make a sale. So you're asking me to give you some of my own money so I can make more off you...money that is being set aside for my son's chemo treaments. So when you ask for free stuff you are actually communicating that your saving money is more important than my son's health. You're a jerk.

But for real. The price is the price, and if I like you, I'll maybe drop the price by $50 or give you a 'free' cheap backpack or something...but I don't like you. You don't want my son to get his chemo treament. So the price just got marked up...it's the 'jerk tax'.

Okay...I don't have a son, but you get the idea. Stop being stupid and pay the price for the item. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Commissionaire


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