Okay okay okay okay...

...Now I've been holding out on you all. I had a gem around three days ago, but since my co-workers demanded that I blog the incident, I had to resist. Blogging is a divine force that chooses some people for greatness, you cannot force it. Homie don't play that. But now, the time has arrived. A rather large, nicotine toothed, raspy voiced, loud, obnoxious woman came into the store the other day. The conversation ensues:

Crazy Go Nuts University Graduate Customer: Hey there. I need a 66 millimeter CPU fan for a (random numbers) model motherboard with a (more random nonsense numbers) processor.

Me: Uh, I don't believe we have that specific part. We're not a parts dealer; we sell systems. I'd most likely send you to (other store) who handles that kind of specific stuff.

CGNUGC: Well, what the hell!? I bought the computer here! Why don't you have that damn part?!

Me: Well, we're not a parts dealer. Some places specialize in parts and components but other stores, like us, sell pre-made systems.

CGNUGC: Well I came here to get what I need here. Why the hell don't you sell what I need? If I come to a store, I expect them to have what I need! This is Bullsh*t! I don't want to get screwed around! I came here expecting you to have what I needed, but now you don't have it. I bought my computer here thinking I'd get help when I have problems and need service, but now I see that all you gave me was a load of Bullsh*t!

Me: Well, I'm not sure why you're so upset. We sell computers, not computer parts...hence, we have computers in our store. If we sold computer parts, then we'd have computer parts in our store. I'm sory you came to the wrong place for what you need, but I'll gladly let you know where you can find what you need...in fact, I'll even call over there to make certain that they have it before you drive over there.

CGNUGC: Well that just SUCKS! (points at me menacingly and starts speaking slowly, in an effort to sound dramatic) When I go to a store, I expect them to have what I need dammit...I don't want to get jerked around! I come here expecting to get help and get what I need and all I get is excuses. Have a great day! (turns and storms out)

Me: Okay, thanks! (smiling crazily and talking in a high voice) Have a Scrump-diddly-uptious day! By-yiee!

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Yup. I enjoyed that conversation immensely. I often use that line of reasoning when I justify temper tantrums in McDonalds' resaurants...

Me: "What the hell! When I come to a resaurant I want a WHOPPER! Give me a WHOPPER dag nab it!"

Frightened 15 year old girl with acne and braces: "Uh, we don't have Whoppers. Would you like a Big Mac?"

Me: "Are you as stupid as you are ugly? I said WHOPPER! That's 'W-H-O-P-P-E-R'. Aren't you supposed to have the burger I want? Is this a restaurant or not?"

Frightened 15 year old girl with acne and braces: " Well, it is a resaurant but..."

Me: (cuts her off)...Well then give me a WHOPPER! WHOPPER!

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Yeah well, I don't do that. I pride myself on not being a flaming moron. I'm a moron, but my moronicy is not accompanied with flamage. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Complaining Betty