Why I'm retarded...
...Well, many people who have known me for a while know that sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble, but not because I try to offend anyone or do stupid things on purpose. I just seem to have the spiritual gift of saying the WRONG thing (like wrong in a crazy way) at the WRONG time. Some people who used to know me in Prince George, BC would remember certain events, like involving comments about shaving armpits and whatnot. Not fond memories, and let's just say that there's not going to be an 'open mic' at any weddings, funeral, graduations, parties or any other public event in my future.
But, some things are still humerous, after the fact. Here's one tale for you about one condition I have: temporary announcing of inner monologue. TAIM is a horrible infirmity from which I suffer. I rarely get TAIM attacks (like when I'm SUPER tired), but when they happen they're usually not this bad:
Pastoral Ministries class.
Pastor in talking about membership training.
So he's going on about how church now has a 1 day intensive membership training and whatnot, and commenting on how everyone at the membership training is told several things. They're told to meet each other. They're told to shake hands. They're told to learn a few things about each other. Then, someone asks "why do you force that stuf" and the pastor worded it this way:
"Well, we're going to die together so we may as well get to know one another"
Infering that when we go to heaven we'll be around each other forever, so may as well start now...but I hear that and think about how a new member could misunderstand that and say:
"What, like right NOW?"
Uh, doh. I'm imagining this new convert coming to this church and being all nervous, and the pastor using the phrase "Well, we're going to die together...". Now basically nobody would think that comment refers to an imminent ritual suicide, but my imagination and my mouth teamed up on me before I knew what had happened. DAG NAB IT!
He stopped, totally caught off guard. Then, thank the Lord, the whole class looked around for who said it and started laughing as he said, "No, hopefully much later!" I'm such a dinglehead. Until Next Time,
The Armchair Austin Powers...AGAIN...
But, some things are still humerous, after the fact. Here's one tale for you about one condition I have: temporary announcing of inner monologue. TAIM is a horrible infirmity from which I suffer. I rarely get TAIM attacks (like when I'm SUPER tired), but when they happen they're usually not this bad:
Pastoral Ministries class.
Pastor in talking about membership training.
So he's going on about how church now has a 1 day intensive membership training and whatnot, and commenting on how everyone at the membership training is told several things. They're told to meet each other. They're told to shake hands. They're told to learn a few things about each other. Then, someone asks "why do you force that stuf" and the pastor worded it this way:
"Well, we're going to die together so we may as well get to know one another"
Infering that when we go to heaven we'll be around each other forever, so may as well start now...but I hear that and think about how a new member could misunderstand that and say:
"What, like right NOW?"
Uh, doh. I'm imagining this new convert coming to this church and being all nervous, and the pastor using the phrase "Well, we're going to die together...". Now basically nobody would think that comment refers to an imminent ritual suicide, but my imagination and my mouth teamed up on me before I knew what had happened. DAG NAB IT!
He stopped, totally caught off guard. Then, thank the Lord, the whole class looked around for who said it and started laughing as he said, "No, hopefully much later!" I'm such a dinglehead. Until Next Time,
The Armchair Austin Powers...AGAIN...
posted by The Armchair Geek at
9:09 PM
2 Comments:
Actually, "What, like right NOW?" would probably be the first thing to come to my mind if someone in church told me we were all going to die together.
By
Andrew L, at 5:47 PM
NO KIDDING. Thanks Andrew! Sometimes we (Christians) say CRAZY sounding things and don't listen to ourselves talk! You climbed up the cool ladder today!
By
The Armchair Geek, at 12:41 PM
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