Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

10,000 punches in the face...

...well, maybe at least a slap up side the head. What is that, you ask? That's what Mr. Numb3rs needed yesterday. Here's our replay footage for you:

Mr. Numb3rs: Hey, do you guys have the IBM T31x-2?

Me: Well, I don't have a comprehensive knowledge of all the model numbers of most manufacturers but if you tell me what kind of processor, ram and hard drive it has, I'll be able to find one for you.

Mr. Numb3rs: Okay. Well, I'm looking for an IBM T31x-2. You don't have that?

Me: Well, like I said. I don't have IBM's entire model run comitted to memory. If you tell me what's in that computer, I can most likely find something equivalent for you.

Mr. Numb3rs: How about a T6003-RS?

Me: (*sigh*). I'm not really sure what that is. If you give me a moment I'll try to hop on the internet and find out what processor, ram and hard drive are in that machine and I'll find something similar for you.

Mr. Numb3rs: So you don't have that one either? What about an X-2207L?

Me: I didn't say that I do or don't have that item, or something like it. I simply don't have all that information comitted to memory. If you give me a second, I'll try to find it for you. I just need to figure out the processor, ram and hard drive and then I'll check my stock.

Mr. Numb3rs: Well, do you have the IBM R-7650IC-X

Me: I don't think we're understanding one another. Every time you give me some random model number, I most likely won't know what it is. I do not have the IBM catalogue comitted to memory, but I'd gladly check online to see what kind of system it is you're looking for and recommdend something similar for you.

This post is a "choose-your-own-adventure" post. There are three alternate endings. Scroll down to the ending you desire:

1. The "Micheal Douglas in Falling Down" ending

2. The "Steve Guttenberg in Police Accademy" ending

3. The "boring reality" ending


1. The "Micheal Douglas in Falling Down" ending:

Mr Numb3rs: Well, what about an IBM 409g-THC?

Me: Listen. It's clear to me that you're either an idiot or high on some form of halucinagen. So get out a pad and pen and write this down. "NO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CRAP YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!" Now hang up the phone and dial 911 and report an assault because I've finished tracing your call and I'm on my way...Brian. (hangs up, grabs a bat and runs out the door)


2. The "Steve Guttenberg in Police Accademy" ending

Mr. Numb3rs: Well, what about an IBM 409g-THC?

Me: The 409g-THC? Well, what do you know! We've got three of those right now, sitting in front of me. They're left overs from boxing day and if you get down here in the next 30 minutes, I'll give all three of them to you for $50! What a STEAL! Good thing you called! You'd better get down here! (Mr. Numb3rs burns down here only to find that I "sold" them to someone else who beat him down here and he made the trip for nothing...tough luck!)


3. The "boring reality" ending

Mr. Numb3rs: Oh, okay. (hangs up while I'm in mid sentence.)

Me: Helwo? Wu Dare? Anywone? Helwo? How Wude!

Yeah. Silly and annoying and hard to fathom. Either way, I've gotta cash out and leave. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Geek


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