Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Wonder Twins Strike!

Yes! The Wonders Twins are back in action! Jayna called on the phone today and Zan came into the store in person, and the stupidity ensued!

First off, Jayna called because her keyboard wasn't working. I asked her what "not working" means and she told me that 2 letters and 1 number don't work. She then told me that she "knew" it was the keyboard and wanted a replacement. I asked her if she had tried another keyboard and she said she had, though she thought it worked (and wasn't sure). She then asked as to whether or not the replacement would be a warranty issue. I told her that I'd have to see the keyboard to see if it's actually broken. She refused to come down to the store unless I could "guarantee" that it would be a waranty replacement. I told her that if the keyboard wasn't working, it would most likely be a warranty replacement...but I couldn't guarantee anything. She refused to drive "all the way across town" without knowing whether or not she'd get a free keyboard (She lives in Sutherland, for my readers from Saskatoon..which is like 4 miles from my store...). I told her that I couldn't guarantee anything over the phone, but I reassured her that a physical failure would be a warranty issue. She told me that it wasn't worth her time to come in and hung up the phone. Sheesh

The keyboard is most likely sitting at home, covered in Budweiser and Doritos. Definitely my fault and most definitely a warranty fix. In fact, if you bring in a keyboard covered in beer and doritos, I'll give you $1, just for making my day interesting. Make that $2...$5 if you tip the keyboard to the side and beer pours out.

Second, Zan came in looking for a laptop, driving his Acura NSX. I'm not joking. Acura NSX. In Saskatoon. In winter. He was driving a car that lists for $142,000 Canadian Dollars (http://www.acura.ca/AcuraEng/Models/Default.htm) in the freaking winter. The car was covered in dirt and road salt. As he was talking to another salesman and I edged over to the door to behold his cars mistreatment...and I wept. What a waste. People who winter drive Acura NSX's, Dodge Vipers, BMW M6's and the like don't understand the purposes of such cars. I mean, if you want something sporty to drive in the winter, get an Imprezza WRX or an Infinity G35X and save yourself around $90-100,000. If you want something to drive around in winter that shows off all your money, buy a Range Rover or a Porsche Cayenne. But for the love of Pete Trance's sister, don't drive a mid engined sports car around the slushy Saskatoon streets!

Funny thing too...Zan was a cheap beggar and didn't buy anything. Most likely because every single penny he made waitering at Boston Pizza went into his car (which was most likely used and he most likely paid $50,000 for). None the less, I'm going home now. The day is almost over and I'm almost FREE! Hooray! Until Next Time,

The Armchair Wonder (Twin?)

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