Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

4:17 + 2:14 + 17:9 = I can't sell a computer to you.

No freaking kidding. If you're brain doesn't work, or you rely entirely on your emotional state when making a purchase, I cannot help you. I've had three today that were astounding:

1. One person wanted to get a new, $1,300 laptop and pay it off at $25/month. That's fine...the problem is that she saw the add for "computers for $25/month" and then couldn't understand why she couldn't pay $25 per month and have a $1,300 laptop paid off in 12 months. Is that false advertising? Well, something that is $300 would be paid off in 12 months at $25 per month. Gezz Louise! What do you say to a person who cannot do basic math? "You're an imbecile"? Well, that takes me back to the post on 'fools'. You can't communicate to an fool that he/she's a fool because that's just it; they are fools and cannot understand that they are fools. Foolishness is self-perpetuating like that. Argh!

2. One guy comes in and asks me to speak slower becasue he "has brain damage and cannot think much". Verbatim quote. I'm serious. So, I slowed down my speech and tried to talk to him but he all of a sudden went glassy eyed and up and walked away, mid sentence. Okay? Uh, have a good day? Maybe he had a hankering for a big crunch or something. Hmmm.

3. Some guy who put up all these walls to buying a computer that I slowly worked down. Not enough features? I found him one that had what he wanted. Too much money? I got him his magic number price. Questions about warranty? I answered his questions and his 'tech friend' who tagged along straightened him out too. So his final 'out' to not buy?

"I have a bad feeling about this..."

So I asked him. Is it price? Features? This store? Me? Anything tangible?

He told me it wasn't, but he just couldn't buy a computer without "peace of mind". Well, I almost said something too him (us pastoral types have a hard time holding back at times), but I told him instead that if it's the right deal, then to not trust his heart. How do you know if you're bad feeling is actually food poisoning? You don't. None the less, he didn't buy. He skidaddled.

Hmmm. After much reflection, I figured out what his bad feeling was. The most rational thing I could think of was that he was sensing an impending attack from a Sith Lord. So, I'm not going to worry about him now because he was recently killed by a Sith. Poor guy. At least he could have left a computer to his loved ones. Well, such is the ways of the force. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Geek


  • okay-you're back now...i think it's time for a new post. :)

    By Blogger Tam, at 12:53 PM  

  • Great article. It's why the really big money being made by savvy Internet marketers is by using a direct mail hybrid system. As explained in How I made $77 Million In 2-Years--And You Can Too! by Vincent James. http://www.the77million.com

    By Anonymous RP, at 12:42 AM  

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