Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Time for a new post? Who are YOU to command ME?!

Well, now that my cunning subject line has unleashed subtle rebuke to certain persons, I will post something...something that I've had in the back of my mind for a long time. Something I've wanted to do but didn't have the time...and most likely still don't. (ha!)

I have a question. A question for people out there. There's something I cannot figure out:

HOW THE HECK DO SOME PEOPLE SHOP?

Now, I understand that people don't want to buy something that is a piece of garbage or doesn't work. Also, I understand the need for "try before you buy", but almost every person I meet at my shop doesn't know how to "try out" a computer before they purchase it. People who often shop for computers come in and do three very common things that are some bizarre form of "test drive":

1. People "try out" the computer by jiggling the mouse. I mean, what's going on in a person's head when they do that? They always ask if they can try it and then jiggle the mouse around for whatever reason they have in their confused minds. Then, when the mouse works, they figure that everything else is fine.

2. People "try out" the computer by trying to get on the internet and checking their hotmail. People always open up internet explorer and type in "www.hotmail.com" (or sometimes some other e-mail provider). Then, when they get the "the page cannot be displayed" white screen, they ask "why doesn't this computer work?". Well, in a store, none of the computers are on the internet...WRITE IT DOWN. That doesn't mean they don't work. That means they're not connected to the internet.

3. People will find the one computer that is online and log into their MSN/Passport account and then leave it logged in when they leave. Every other day I spend 5-10 minutes trying to find the one from which the 'new message' sound is coming from. I hear the chime and then think "Hmmm...I should use that e-mail account to send some e-mails to a known HAMAS or PLO sympathizer and fill the e-mail with words like "Terrorist", "Bomb", "Anthrax", "Liberation", "Jihad", etc." I haven't yet, but one day I'LL SNAP!

Beware...that could happen to you. If all of a sudden, CSIS is knocking on your door and calling you "Mr. Al-Burat", you've most likely logged into MSN in my store and I've gone over the edge. So, in order to keep from being arrested for national treason, don't log into MSN in a computer store. It's the right thing to do for your country. Until Next Time,

The Armchair "Terrorist, Bomb, Anthrax, Liberation, Jihad, I'm going to nuke the Focus-on-the-Family headquarters in the name of Allah!" Geek.

Wait...I think I just incriminated MYSELF! Dag nab it!

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