Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I love these things...

My therapist urges me to share more, so put on your psychotherapy hats and prepare to call the mental health authorities. Here's something that I plagarised from Meredith Lilly's blog, though I changed SOME of her answers. You have to guess which ones:

Accent: Hyundai. I know cars like crazy!
Booze: Yes Please.
Chore I Hate: Being alive.
Dog or Cat: Both, and LOTS of em'. They can slow a S.W.A.T. team down by several critical minutes when you need to make an escape.
Essential Electronics: Are you insinuating that there are some electronics that aren't essential?
Favorite Cologne: Napalm. It smells great on annoying customers.
Gold or Silver: I don't care. Whichever Visa has airmiles I guess.
Hometown: The Marine Corps is my home! Boo-Rah!
Insomnia: Which brings us back to DOH! I'm sorry...I'm tired. What was the question?
Job Title: Retail Pinata. Annoy me until merchandise comes out.
Kids: Insomnia.
Living arrangements: Van down by the river.
Most admirable trait: telepathy...and telekinesis. You never knew that was me until now. HA!
Number of sexual partners: Did my mother put you up to this? Sheesh! We were just kissing!
Overnight hospital stays: Well, that depends on how often I have an 'incident' in a year. So far, I'm doing good at 17!
Phobias: Customers...and the Oscar Meye Weinermobile. That car scares the tar out of me!
Quote: "One Soda. 8 Ounces. How much?" -You know who!
Religion: NRA.
Siblings: One.
Time I wake up: Whenever I hear the choppers over my house.
Unusual talent or skill: Ability to molecularly transform any substance into Colgate by the power of thought.
Vegetable I refuse to eat: Quarter Pounder with Cheese. (the miracles of food processing! "No meat was used in the preparation of this hamburger!")
Worst habit: After making a sale, I often celebrate by firing my sidearm wildly into the air. I really gotta stop doing that!
X-rays: Only my left eye. My right can see both Gamma and Cosmic rays too.
Yummy foods I make: Verns Pizza. I prepare it with two ingredients: Visa and Phone.
Zodiac sign: Blasting Zone ahead.


Okay. Another glimpse into my delicate psyche! I hope that was as enlightening for you as it was for me. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Counselee


  • lol! NRA! Ha I heard a rep from the NRA last week, he was awesome. I'm in Oklahoma right now! Andrew gave me your email, I'll let you know when I am in Cali.

    Meredith Lilly

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:37 PM  

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