Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Time for the thinking caps...

Okay. It's imagination time again. It's 'cocky customer' day; the day where clueless people come in and argue with me about things that don't even exist. Like Mr. "I need a dual processor machine because windows XP Home runs so much faster with two processors". So, because of 'cocky customer' day, it's time to put on our imagination caps and pretend that one of my customers today tries his/her tomfoolery at a car dealership. Behold the imaginary conversation:

Salesman: Good afternoon! Welcome to (car dealership name)! How's things?

Customer: (not making eye contact and looking everywhere but at the salesperson) ...mmm...(nods).

Salesman: So you looking for something in particular?

Customer: Well yes. I'm need a truck. I was looking at your trucks and I need something better than what you got here.

S: Oh? What exactly do you mean?

C: I need something with a v-10 or maybe a v-12. Do you have something like that?

S: A v-10 or a v-12? Well, those are not very common. I know Dodge makes a v-10 for some of their trucks, but I'm pretty sure that nobody makes v-12 trucks, at least for consumer use.

C: Well, I have a friend with a v-12 truck. In fact, he's got two v-12 trucks. I want one like his.

S: Really? Well that's interesting. What kind of truck does he have?

C: I don't know. I'm not like a mechanic or anything. (rolls eyes)

S: Okay. Well, let's try a different approach. Tell me what your needs are and I'll try to help you find something good for what you need.

C: Okay. I want to haul some soil and I need to pull a trailer every now and then.

S: What kinda trailer?

C: Well, a 8 foot U-haul trailer. I use it to move things from time to time.

S: And you think you need a v-12 for that kinda work? I'm pretty sure that you would survive with a v-8, or even a v-6.

C: Yeah, but my trailer will be heavy. I'll probably need to pass people on the highway too. I'll need lots of horsepower for that.

S: Not really...I mean, I have a v-6 truck and I can do that fine.

C: Well, I'm also planning on going to Alberta too. They have some pretty huge hills there. I don't need to get to a hill and not be able to continue because my underpowered truck cannot climb hills while towing 1500 pounds. I know I need a v-12.

S: ?! Uh, running out of steam would be not fun. I can pretty much tell you that an 8 foot trailer wouldn't be a problem in Alberta though, or even in BC, even with a v-6.

C: Well, my friend is a welder for Doepker Trailers and he paints trailers and he knows several truckers and they all tell me to get something with 500+ horsepower and most likely a v-12.

S: Yeah, if you're driving a rig that might be the case, though I'm sure even rigs don't have v-12s. None the less, you should buy what you think you need. If you think you need a rig, you should go buy a Kenworth. Sadly, I don't have that, but here's my card none the less. If you have trouble finding your v-12 truck, give me a call and I'll see if I can't help you find something more reasonable in your...

(Customer snatches card and walks away mid sentence.)

S: Have a good day!

***Yup. That's about it. Until Next Time,

The Armchair Imagination Station


Post a Comment

<< Home