Tales of Idiocy and Woe...But Now I'm CRAZY in California!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Happy Anniversary!

Yes, it's my 1 year anniversary! One year ago today, I started posting and venting on the internet! It's been quite a year, with tons of insanity and pulitzer-class writing coming at ya! In a bit of a trip through this past year, here's some of my favorite posts from the past year, commenting on some of my most memorable experiences at my workplace; The National Rifle Association:

  1. The lady who washed her computer and wondered why it stopped working (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/08/august-26-golden-gong.html)
  2. The guy who asked me (the sales guy) to co-sign for him on a finance (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/07/what-ficticious-conversation.html)
  3. The guy who bought the printer that didn’t come with any necessary parts and didn’t work, but bought it because it was cheap. (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/08/truth-about-bottom-dollar.html)
  4. The guy who told me that he didn’t believe that HP/Dell/whatever tech support was from India (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/10/duh-duh-duh.html)
  5. The guy who called for tech support to copy movies that he’d rented from Blockbuster. (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/10/speechless-in-seattle.html)
  6. The sea shells in the printer. (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/11/she-sells-sea-shells-by-lex-store.html)
  7. My “ground beef at midas” comment…one of my most shining moments (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2006/04/me-and-my-big-mouth.html)
  8. The guy who came in looking for a computer specifically for getting tons of porn (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2006/05/so-apparently-im-not-counsellor-troy.html)
  9. The guy who called to see who did our financing (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/07/line-of-all-lines.html)
  10. The lady who wouldn’t buy any computer that was exported. (http://thearmchairgeek.blogspot.com/2005/11/logical-argu-whats.html)
Also, here's a few GEMS that were previously UNBLOGGED:

  1. About a year ago, a customer brought in a computer monitor and asked us to try to fix it. We agreed to take a look at it, so we took it to the back. When we plugged it in, pink smoke poured out of the back. We didn’t have a clue what was wrong, but we told her that it wasn’t worth fixing. We never did figure that one out, but man! PINK smoke? What in the world?!
  2. I was selling a guy a computer and he decided on the computer and everything and as we were at the till, I asked him about extended warranty. He asked me what warranty came with it and I told him that since the computer was refurbished, it came with the standard 90 day warranty. He griped and I offered him a few 1 year extended warranty, but he refused to take it. He kept asking, like 10+ times, if it came with a 1 year warranty and I kept saying “no, but I’ll include extended warranty for nothing”. He wanted me to say “it comes with a 1 year warranty” and I wouldn’t, because it didn’t, but I did keep offering extended warranty for nothing. I couldn’t figure it out, and he eventually got frustrated and left. I could never figure out why he was so concerned about me saying that it came with the 1 year warranty…but my inability to use deceitful rhetoric cost me a sale. Go figure…
  3. A few days after Boxing Day, December 2004, a customer came, complaining. He had bought a computer several weeks before, at the beginning of December, and had seen something on a Boxing Day sale that was cheaper (by like $75) than what he paid for his computer. He basically asked us to stroke him a cheque for the price difference, and seeing that we don’t officially price match it was a Boxing Day sale, we told him we wouldn’t. He got quite angry, and although we tried to explain things to him, he refused to listen. After a bunch of insults and whatnot, he stormed out of the building. I couldn’t believe that one.
  4. On our store answering machine, there was once a guy who called, sounding quite desperate. He was trying to re-install his operating system while remaining on the internet. Apparently he really needed to be on a certain website but he also really needed to wipe and restore his operating system. Talk about ‘not getting it’. I don’t remember what the tech told him, but he was apparently not very happy that this couldn’t be done.
  5. Around a year and a bit ago, a person from a local car dealership came in with a laptop that “didn’t work”. Apparently he somehow spilled an entire 600ml Mountain Dew in his laptop and now it “didn’t work” anymore. Unbelievable. Just for the record, it wasn’t covered by warranty.
  6. Several month ago, a customer brought in a mouse that was “really hot”. One of the service technicians took it into the back to check it out and as he started using it to see what the deal was, it burst into flames…no kidding. There was some sort of short in the mouse and whatnot, but MAN was that tech surprised. That was replaced under warranty. Never seen that, ever.
  7. There’s also a rather strange ‘person’ that has come into our store from time to time. There’s a transvestite who, from the back, looks kind of like a woman but from the front is definitely a guy. The deep voice, the man face and huge man hands don’t add to the illusion of femininity either. I always have a difficult time talking to him…it’s so hard to know where to look; everywhere you look you’re so tempted to stare. Anyway, he came into our store once and our resident “chick magnet” (the 25% of the sales team who seems to talk to 90% of the attractive women in the store) noticed him from behind; long blonde hair and all. I saw what was coming so pretended to be busy and motioned for him to ‘go talk to her’. He didn’t miss a beat and skedaddled over, greeting the customer to our store with his usual bounciness. When the blonde haired guy turned around and said ‘hello’, sounding like Ivan Rebroff, the other salesman almost literally stumbled and fell on his face. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Absolutely priceless.
*****

Well, that's enough typing for today! Celebrate the wonderful anniversary this month by coming in and purchasing that desktop or laptop that you've been wanting for so long! It's my last month here and I'm slashing prices for everyone! Come in and I'll GO NUTS! Promise! Until Next Time,

The Armchair Geek

3 Comments:

  • Still looking for a lappy 486, financiing for a computer while on welfare, an alienware alx with quad sli graphics, 2 terrabyte singular external hard drive (none of this 4 - 500 gig external crap), a 10 gig memory stick, the second season of "Firefly" and the first of "Bruce the Borg", a working emulator for xbox 360, and a shirt that says "I am the Chig!"

    .....happy first anniversary to idiocy and woe, thanks for all the laughs, well done Len ....light weight baby!

    P.S. In the future, don't forget to reverse the polarity when things go wrong.

    By Anonymous blackjack "pwnage" McGee, at 6:18 PM  

  • Have I ever told you how awesome this blog is? It's really one of the funniest sites on the internet. I hope you keep it up after you move away.

    By Blogger Andrew L, at 2:31 PM  

  • Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
    »

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:46 AM  

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